Too much time sat hunched over your keyboard blogging could lead to obesity. So if your online efforts to raise your online fortunes is damaging your health, take a celebrity tip from one person, who in an effort to secure their column inches, has now resorted to selling themselves as a YoYo dieter.
The comparison pictures you’ll have seen of Kerry Katona from March 09 (post baby) to June 09 (post bulging) highlight her swing from a much publicised size 10 to an even more publicised size 16! In just six weeks bingeing. With good reason, the size 16 pictures were actually set up and posed by Kerry with her own PR – then sold to the tabloids and trash mags to ensure her extended coverage. It seems no publicity is bad publicity, and the only paid-for work she can now gett is by piling on the pounds and shedding them, faster than you can come up with a Wacko Jacko conspiracy theory.
So, below I have detailed her amazing yoyo diet plan from zero to superhero in six easy weeks and back again, starting with week one: BULK UP (and the good news is, you can buy all the ingredients from Iceland):
Fat day:
Four sugars in tea
Eat same size portion as husband mark
Lunch every day: sandwich and chips
Drink full fat coke
Order fattening takeaways instead of making dinner
Snack on junk food constantly
Drink lager for lunch
Dream about beef curries
Smoke forty fags a day
Thin day:
7am – drink pint of water
30 mins of cardio on empty stomach (burns straight into stored fat and uses it for energy)
(try doing an hour – even better – walk at fast pace or use cross trainer
7.45am
one sachet of porridge oats (25g) – with water (add seetner or cinammon for taste, at worst, semi skimmed milk
opt for two oatibix or weetabix instead
or three egg whites and one yolk – scrambled
DON’T use oil or butter
Drink one pint of water and one black coffee to speed metabolism (or green tea)
Take following supplements: ProVital, ProCLA and ProLean (aids fat burning and increases metabollic rate)
10.30am
Protein drink/meal replacement (low calorie drinks mixed with water)
one piece of fruit (apple/pear/orange)
1pm
200g of less than 3% fat chicken breast, steamed, grilled or stir fried with 1tsp extra virgin olive oil
jacket potato or basmati rice and broccoli (or other green veg)
One pint of water
One green tea or black coffee
3.30pm
Protein drink/meal replacement
One pint of water
6pm
Similar to lunch – fish or chicken (200g) with one pepper, one onion, garlic and bolied basmati rice
Green tea or black coffee
One pint of water
9pm
Protein based meal, no carbs – eg whites (with one yolk, scrambled)
Or – protein drink
One pint of water
11pm
Go to bed, rest, ready to repeat tomorrow (you’ve six weeks of this before you can return to your fat day!)
For results, go to: http://tinyurl.com/lxaqeu
